Blushing Profusely.

I do not like little critters. At all.

The more slippery and slimy they are, the less I like them. I mean they really give me the heebie-jeebies. The creepy-crawlies. The willies. The complete creeps.

They freak me out.

So, last night when the kids came running into the house screaming “MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! You have to come outside right nooooooooooooooooooooow!!!!” it should have been my first clue that I didn’t really want to go outside.

But like a ninny, I went outside anyway.

Only to have this thing shoved right into my face.

Ack!!! I literally have goosebumps on my skin just looking at that photo.

My kids and my husband had been hunting for a frog that had been blocking one of the pipes to our septic mound for over three days. They (obviously) had finally found the frog and they (obviously) have not inherited their mom’s dislike of slimy critters.

In fact, they are the opposite of me and will fight with each other for their chance to hold a slimy critter.

My irrational fears of slimy critters weren’t helped at all when Will decided he wanted a pet turtle several years ago.

The turtle was fine for the first few months when it was little…and tiny…and kind of cute.

Then “The Thing” started to grow faster than a weed. And would snap at the walls of his glass cage every time I walked into Will’s room. And would stare me down with his little beady eyes anytime I came near him.

He didn’t like me at all.

The dad of this household is responsible for cleaning out the cages of all slimy or creepy critters that the kids might talk us into having as pets. My fears really got bad when he decided that every time he cleaned out the turtle’s cage he would also then chase me around the house with said turtle completely freaking me out even more. All while the kids howled with laughter.

I still haven’t forgiven him for that.

So, wouldn’t you know it…it’s “Right to Read” week at our school this week. And the theme of this year’s “Right to Read” week is….FROGS.

Thus commenced the five hours of begging last night that I had to endure from the kiddos. “Please, please, please, please, please mom??? Will you please bring the frog into school for us so we can show it to our friends?? Please?? It’s ‘Right to Read’ week and the theme is FROGS. We just have to take it in! It’s perfect for the theme! Our teachers will love it!!! Please, please, please????”

I, of course, ended up at their school this morning with a big plastic box that had Ms. Frog in it ready to show off to the kid’s classmates.

Now, one reason I said yes was because the frog was so well-behaved last night. She sat nicely in her plastic box, let the kids pet her and never even tried to jump out of the box once.

We went to Weslea’s class first, walked in and greeted Weslea’s very excited classmates. Her teacher exclaimed about how “beautiful” this frog was (I guess it did have nice coloring and markings if I could have gotten past the freak-out factor) and then I opened the top of the box so the kids could see the frog better.

I began talking quietly to Mrs. K about where we had found the frog, how well-behaved it had been, how I hate frogs and all creepy-crawly critters, and how I had to drive all the way to school with that thing in my van.

The ride apparently had been too exciting for Ms. Frog though and right then she tried to hop out of the plastic box (which had very high sides.)

And that was when I screamed like a girly-girl. Right there in Mrs. K’s face. And right in front of all of Weslea’s friends.

I’m really thinking that I might never be able to show my face in that school again.

How very, very embarrassing!

{The frog is now happily living in my friend’s pond. It hopefully will never find it’s way back “home.”}