A Disturbing Trend

This is my “baby” brother, Jon, with my “baby” kiddo, Weston.

They sure look cute, don’t they? Jon looks like such a sweetie, doesn’t he?

Boy, can looks be deceiving.

You see, I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend lately that always involves him at our family get-togethers. You should not let yourself get fooled by the sweetness he portrays in photos. He truly is one down-to-the-core rotten boy.

It all started when I was 9-years old and mom and dad announced that they were expecting a baby. Unlike my older sister who was 12-years old at the time and completely humiliated to realize that all of her friends would know that her parents actually still did “that which pertains to the making of a baby,” I was clueless and naive and oh-so-excited that we would be having a baby!!! I pretty much claimed him as mine at that moment in time and decided that he was really my baby, not anyone else’s.

After he was born I did my best to spoil him rotten and I am now paying the price because he has never gotten over it.

See, here is the disturbing trend I mentioned before. Every single time we have a family get-together, Jon decides that he needs to physically assault me by tackling me to the ground and then he proceeds to wrestle and tickle me until I want to vomit. And, it is all done without any provocation from me whatsoever. I am completely innocent, but have no defense against the “boy who is rotten.”

This is the two of us at our New Year’s Eve get-together.

And this is the two of us at our Memorial Day Weekend get-together. Do you see the trend?

This young, 24-year old boy needs to realize that my perpetually 29-year old self can’t take much more of this! (Just in case you noticed the slight error in my math, I have chosen 29 as my “forever age” and don’t plan on ever getting any older than that…ever.)

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He has two other perfectly healthy sisters to pick on and I think that he needs to choose one of them to torture now. I’m sure they aren’t completely innocent like I am either and they might actually deserve to be picked on by him. It’s time to pick a new wrestle victim Jon-boy!